Think of all the benefits of having good sex; it makes you relax, it can get rid of pain, it makes you happy and connected to your lover. And how does one have good sex? It’s not magic or something that ”just happens with the right person”, It’s knowing what you want, what makes you feel good and being able to communicate this to your partner. And according to me, exploring what it is that makes you purr can best be done with sex toys.
A passage from the now vintage book The Joy of Sex by Dr ALex Comfort, talking about lovers having to explore sex much like cooking; taking notes from a recipe, mixing it with experience and also being prepared to fail before mastering it. Well, I find sex toys to be an excellent way of discovering these little extra touches of finesse to really spice up your recipe for gourmet lovemaking, and I hope to inspire you to feel the same way.
So where did sex toys come from?
The first vibrator was actually invented in the 1880s as a medical tool. Women were brought up to believe that they should have no sex drive of their own and that they were required to have sex in order to keep their husbands happy and raise children.
Obviously, this left a lot of women feeling very sexually frustrated. They would complain to doctors about feeling anxious and nervous, having trouble sleeping, being irritated and having erotic fantasies, only to mention a few “symptoms” This became known as “hysteria”, and it was treated by doctors who would massage the women on their clitoris until they “felt a relief.” This technique was performed by hand. The doctors were all complaining about their tired wrists and hands and voila! The first ever vibrator was invented.
Modern sexuality research shows that about 70% of women need some sort of clitoral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm, and most intercourse doesn’t supply that.
So back to communication in bed and how playing with toys can help you with that.
Bringing a sex toy into bed with your partner is a fun and sexy way to practice communication which is key in order to have better sex. Show your lover how you use your fingers, or your toy and let them do the same. Many toys today can also be worn whilst having sex for great vibrations that your partner just cannot provide.
Share your toys
I like to invite my partner not only to watch me please myself with toys but also take pleasure from them. So many of them are made for women or heterosexual couples, with the woman in mind – but you can find ways for him to enjoy your toys too!
Using a vibrator on a man’s anus or balls while performing oral sex is a tickling and often nice experience for him. Some bendy toys like the OMG! can be wrapped around his penis for stimulation vibrations. Other erogenous zones can also be stimulated with any vibrating toy.
Don’t be afraid to experiment and have fun together. Even just buying the toy together makes for a fun conversation. And remember that
sex toys promote good health as orgasms release stress and tension. It’s a great start to your day, and get a good nights sleep.